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Okay, I now have one of those phones that you can slide little pictures up and down; swipe right and left. . . Yeah! Everyone said I need a cell phone.


find a restaurant near me. . . actually, I know the restaurants near me.

play video games. . . I like golf and tennis and the comradery.

Text. Everyone is texting . . . Though to text means the loss of the human voice. . . its laughter. . . its anger and an occasional burst of song. Instead, I can substitute the Phonecian alphabet though it cannot convey the human voice . . . laughter, anger, or song. Unless I type oh sh)(*^%$it it's difficult to convey emotion, a hum, a gasp, or a sigh.

tap a map and know where I am and how to get to where I want to be. Hopefully, I remember why I was heading there in the first place. Which is sometimes problematic.

read instructions. Pages of instructions. Instructing me to visit websites that would give me video instructions on how to utilize my new device. There was no pressure. Though there would be tests. There were apps I could and should download. Initially, I had no idea want an app was or why I would need one. I know now. Apps are applications. Before we go to applications, applying; adding too. . .

Lets begin at the beginning. Minutes after I opened the box to my android cell phone.

When you turn your phone on you’ll see a little lock. It’s a little blue lock on my phone. You get to pay $500 for your phone and a lot of money each month to use the phone that you paid for. But when you turn it on, the Corporation (designated PEOPLE by the United States supreme court) have decided you will not have access to your phone without opening a lock they put on your phone.

I know we’re all glad the corporations that make, toasters, trash cans coffee makers and refrigerators don't do that. Bobbie bought me a Samsung cell phone. A Samsung cell phone is an android cell phone. The but of "Ew! Dear God, why did you buy an android?" I always point to Bobbie and shrug. My brand new 'Ew, Dear God' cell phone was delivered to my door. I opened the box with a happy heart. Ready to delve into the world of new technology.

How much does it cost Stopped here

It's got a big lock that you can move ..... get this without a ke

Maybe if texting had more personal letters. Or a tone, to make each text more personal --- I miss the human voice and feel there’s a loss of contact.

Cell Phones and other inventions that shouldn’t have been invented.

My cell phone and I do not get along. The ‘Cell’ phone is aptly named ‘Cell’. My cell phone even has bars. The phone is the ultimate prison. No walls. but once you’ve //// There is no escape. It knows exactly where you are every moment. The addiction to heroin, cigarettes, or alcohol are nothing compared to the addictive power of the cell phone.

We had a dinner guest who would not / could not ? stop looking at his cell phone. He tried. I felt sorry for him. I felt sorry for us. He offered nothing to the evening. It was like he wasn’t there. He wasn’t. And will never be again.

• Although it may be tempting, avoid texting during face-to-face conversations;

Especially, with the person you're having the face-to-face conversations with. Unless of

course you wanted to be anywhere but here and the textee insisted on a face to face


• Avoid accepting calls when you are in the middle of a face-to-face conversation;

Unless of course

• Avoid discussing personal topics in an area where others may hear you;

• Avoid using inappropriate pictures for a person’s contact photo;

• Be aware of the delay between when you speak and when the other person hears it;

• Be mindful about what you tag people in on Facebook;

• Don’t light up your screen in a dark theater;

• Don’t talk/text and drive;

• Use your Call Filter app for suspicious calls, but avoid using it for friends and family;

• End the continuing game of phone tag after 4 attempts of reaching out to an individual;

• Keep a distance of at least 10 feet from the nearest person when talking on the phone;

• Put your phone on silent mode theaters, restaurants, plays, performances, and any other group setting where a ring tone may be bothersome;

• Refrain from blaming the other person if there is a dropped call;

• Speak in a soft tone when taking calls in public;

• Try not to look things up (“fact check”) during a conversation, unless you are asked to.


• Ask your date if they would be bothered by you taking pictures of the food, scenery, etc;

• Don’t continuously show them things you’ve found on your phone. One or two items may be alright, however, refrain from showing them your entire social media feed, even if you find the content funny;

• If able to, you should both put your phones away in your bag or pocket;

• Let your date know ahead of time if you’re expecting an important phone call at any point during your time together;

• Refrain from nervously going onto your phone;

• Set your phone on silent.

• Be aware of your ringtone. If you work at a business that requires you to answer your cell phone often you may want to download a ringtone that sounds professional (no high pitches, isn’t too loud, no obnoxious sounds, no profanity, etc);

• Don’t look at your phone during meetings;

Applying for work Excuse me this is really important. My ideas

Don’t place your phone on your lap; folks might think you are using your cell phone as an assist in a activity usually done as as an individual execise.

Focus on the person that should have your attention i.e. customer, client, unless you know for certain the customer or client or ready know they can get a much better deal somewhere in else and they’re only there to rattle your chain and the free muffin.

coworker, boss - unless the coworker has pointed out to the boss on frequent occasions your obsession with your cell phone.

keep your phone out of sight unless it is the absolute latest and most expensive model in existence. Conversely if your phone is the size of a transistor radio (something large people carry around) or the earliest clam shell or flip phone model of

boss, etc; unless you know for certain – the customer

Keep your personal calls private;

Keep your phone out of sight;

Don’t engage in arguments over the phone while at work;

Silence your device.

never use your cell phone

These are the ones to have fun with

There are the obvious cell phone violations

• At movie theaters and other large gatherings of any kind;

• Attending church;

• While giving birth; unless you’re giving birth to sentuplets then start a go fund me name contest

• tight rope walking

• wrestling match poetry reading.

• tennis match at match point / golf tournament

• During a job interview;

• Funerals;

• Making love

• while you’re going to the bathroom.

• When someone is talking to you;

• While driving;

• While you’re eating a meal;

• While you’re studying.

I’ve found that cell phone addicts also tend to:

• Lying about the small stuff

• Playing mind games

• Only caring about yourself

• Arrogance

• Lack of ambition

• Bad manners

• Being clingy

• Boring people to death

• Wilfull ignorance

• Eating like a pig

• Being a scrooge

• Prioritizing your phone over her

• Not listening to her

• Not keeping your promises

• Forgetting her birthday

How often you use your cell phone is entirely up to you. However, when doing so, keep in mind that there is a time and place for it. By following the above cell phone etiquette guidelines, you can ensure you’re not being disrespectful or breaking any rules and are mindful of those around you.  

Like you, with a semester of interaction I too can become a seasoned cell phone navigator. I’ve signed up with Timothy Amberson a fourth grader at St. Anselms grammar school.




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