FADS - PIERCINGS AND TATTOOS

I was never hooked on hooks, bones, piercings or tattoos,

I’m easily confused. Often when a simple concept is explained to me; I miss the explanation and the concept. But rather than admit ignorance, I nod. I smile. I compliment the explainer for their clear and concise explanation. I expand my ‘I get it’ NOD, by joining my index finger to my thumb in the Scuba Divers OK sign. Sadly, most explainers live far from an ocean and have no concept of the Scuba Divers --- okay sign.

When our oldest daughter celebrated her ninth birthday she wanted her ears pierced. Bobbie and I said NO! Inside, I admired my daughters moxie. I hate needles. Always have. Always will. Especially because of an early childhood experience.

The was a movie called the "The Man with the Golden Arm." It stared a man named Frank Sinatra.

Among other attributes, Mr. Sinatra was known as 'old blue eyes,' because . . . well he had blue eyes. The film was about a man fighting heroin addiction. It scared the hell out of me. Seemed like everyone in the film was tying a turncate around the arm and sticking a long needle in a vein. I knew I would never become addicted to heroin. What group of druggies would want to shot up with someone who faints at the sight of a needle.

How could my daughter? Anyone's daughter. Want someone to -- Allow someone, especially a fellow nine year old, with no medical degree, to stick a long, hot needle through her earlob. Dance it back and forth to create a receptive orifice for an earring “POST”.

A ‘POST’ is much like a truck axel. It is driven through ear lobes an ear ring could dangle on one side and a thing called the “BACK” could clamp the far end of the “POST’ behind her ear. My daughter did

not this procedure done once… No… my nine year old progeny wanted this done twice…… and went into one of her well rehearsed hissy fits when Bobby and I forbid it.

Three days later she came home with a smug smile and a tiny pearl ear ring on each ear. If these we’re real pearls, they were given birth by the smallest clams on the planet. To the delight of our youngest daughter, Bobby immediately grounded our eldest for six weeks. Two weeks into the sentence, Bobby asked if the penalty was too harsh. I nodded… and quoted old Hammurabi. "An eye for and eye amd tooth for a tooth. In this instance, an ear for an ear.

What woman? Where? decided to hang something from her ear? How soon did other woman follow

suit? How do movements begin? How do fads proliferate. How do they gather momentum? Why do we root for sports teams? Why are there sports teams? Or star players. Why do we boo? Why do we rah? Or Ole!?

When did people salute? When did we start saluting flags. Or carrying them into battle? Why flags in the first place. How do religions begin? Why? And after they begin, why do religious sects emerge and then depart from original dogma? What part of the original god or gods was unacceptable? What part of the theology was suspect?

Hell, the Sun got more than 6,OOO years of respect. And those that did not respect often lost their their respective heads. How about royalty? Why do we bow to a Queen or kiss a Pope’s ring?

AH BUT I DIGRESS -

When I was a kid National Geographic was my favorite magazine. Insects, caves, jungles and astronomy fascinated me. But pictures of exotic peoples from far off lands and climes riveted me to the page. Especially folks with intricate patterns of tattoos or with nose bones or sea shells piercing through other parts of their anatomy. There had to be other things to do that day. Why not cook, hunt, make love?

Who was the first guy or gal who decided to use little sharp sticks dip them into a black dye and then start pricking a little pattern on someone’s arm or backside? Who was the first guy or gal who decided to take a bone or a stick, sharpen both ends and then slowly (and very painfully) drill it through that little wall of cartilage that separates your nostrils?

Tattoos have been around for eons. In more modern times, they were preferred by gang members, jailbirds, some military and those of a more notorious bent. Now tattoos are now so common that our local high school principal Sylivia Fermus has a two inch mermaid on her left ankle. I remember Alan Olivera in the fifth grade asking about the genitilia of a mermaid and got his mouth washed out with soap. Alan would have liked Sylivia's tatoo. But art work aside . . .

Piercing is another fad with a long history. Which has definitely been taken to a new level in the modern era. The piercings of the natives of the deepest jungles on the planet have nothing on one young woman at our local Starbucks.

YE OF FAINT HEART OR WEAK STOMACH SHOULD NOT READ THE NEXT PARAGRAPH

Though, now even she pales in comparison to a recent e-mail photo depicting men and women hanging on hooks from industrial sized daisy-wheels. The hooks went through, arms, stomach fat, legs and arms as these folks merrily swing aound in circles.

HOW FADS START

And here is the rub. Who thought of doing something like this in the first place? Could it have gone like this?

---------

A phone rings in an apartment in anywhere U.S.A. Shawn, suffering from a bit of a hangover, reaches across his bed and catches it on the second ring. “Yo, Shawn here.”

“It’s Carter. Beautiful day. What are you up to?”

“Not even up.” Shawn takes a look outside. "You're right. Beautiful day.".

“Time to get up bro.” Carter continued.

“Why?” Shawn stretched and scratched his scalp. He took a second look out the window. “Man it is somekinda day. You want to play golf? Check out the beach?”

“No bro. I got this idea. You want to do something real cool? Different? Drive women crazy.”

Shawn took a long gander at his dragon tattoo. The head of the fire-breathing myth covered most of his chest. The spine and torso extended over his left shoulder, circumnavigated his abdomen and the animal’s tail did two laps around his left leg ending several inches above his ankle. “I don’t need anymore tattoos.”

Carter laughed. “Man, you don’t have any room for more tattoos. This is much better.

There’s cellar a block off of Market Street called the Dungeon. For twenty bucks you go inside and they’ll put three or four seven inch fish hooks through your skin and hoist you into the air and then you get to swing around and around for as long as you want! What do you say, bro?”

Shawn leaped out of bed. “I down with that!"

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I really hope this fad doesn’t catch on. Or if it does … hell, why wouldn’t?

---------

I can hear the conversations now. “Dearest Mildred what did you do this weekend?”

“Oh, Bubba and I just hung out.”

---------

How important is the color of the flag. Or its design? Why are people willing to give their lives for a flag? And others use the flag to cajole and subjugate.

Why do people attend a political convention? Why do people believe demigods, polticians, swallow obvious lies and fantasy and ignore the truth.

How do movements begin. Are there certain catalysts? Something in the air. Something in our species?

Here’s a beaut. In 1212, ironically a 12 year old child, a French peasant lad named Stephen of Cloyes, presudaded the Catholic Church and the entire Holy Roman empire Jesus Christ had appeared to him and commanded him to lead a crusade of children to rescue the Holy Sepulchre in Jerasulem. Mothers, Fathers, Aunties, Uncles, Grandmothers and Grandfathers, Nuns, Priest, Bishops, Cardinals and the Pope thought this was a terrific idea and willingly emptied their schools, seminaries, convents and houselold s giving their children to Stephen of Cloyes. About 30,000 children in all. Most of them were sold into slavery in Italy the rest disappeard.

stopped here

Scientology? Suppose two, maybe more than two groups believe in a different GOD. Oddly the main tenant of most religions: God A and God B is something in the order of

Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard described Scientology as "the Western Anglicized continuance of many earlier forms of wisdom", and cites the teachings of Jesus Christ among belief systems of those "earlier forms". Jesus is recognized in Scientology as part of its "religious heritage," and "is ...

Xenu (/ˈziːnuː/), also called Xemu, was, according to Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard, the dictator of the "Galactic Confederacy" who 75 million years ago brought billions of his people to Earth (then known as "Teegeeack") in DC-8-like spacecraft, stacked them around volcanoes, and killed them with hydrogen bombs.

Do unto Don’t do nothing to nobody you don’t want them doing unto youl

according to each GOD A is very similar to the tenant of God B. Though, God forbid that either religious group find out that their God has been designated God B. Hell, that’s where the trouble starts. Or according to some beliefs, Hell is where the trouble continues for eternity.

A crusade Wars, revolutions even religions.

Okay, you’re in California at a trendy restaurant having lunch on a redwood deck overlooking the Pacific Ocean. You’re eating alone . Like masturbation a solo but pleasurable experience.

Suppose an Angel appears? The Angel preens a few wing feathers with his/her? Beak? Do Angels have beaks? How they preen. Do they moat?

Suppose you’re a really young angel. Only been around for five or six million years. Just moving into Angel puberty. You’re no longer a fleding or a cygnet. Your talons are buffed and sharp, Your grey fledgling feathers are being purchased for the pillows of saints and good folkss

According to the art work most of them have wings….. do Angels have sex? Let me rephrase that…. Do Angels have genitals …. What ever an

or a revolution or fad begins? Who is the leader? The instigator? The rebel with or without a cause? The burly bloke chasing after a Street Car Named Desire yelling Stella?

There has to be some mad someone who comes up with these things?

Perhaps a mad Alpine Elf with nothing better to do than create absurd oddities, intellectually frustrating exercises, enigmas that intrigue and encourage our minds to go through intellectual gymnastic.

Who doesn’t remember The Rubik’s Cube? Only seven people on the entire planet have ever solved this puzzle and all seven are currently being held against their will in various mental hospitals.

In sweat shops, locker rooms, in the men’s and women’s room of the New York Stock exchange you find men/women who attest that they have easily solved the Rubik Cube en Tatoos, shaven flonkas, beastly hair etc…..igma. Almost always on their very first attempt. Usually the first time he tried it. But of course, as soon as you hand him the cube his mind goes blank. Tabula rasa. He’s somehow lost it. He’s forgotten, how to solve it. A small digression. Erno Rubik invented the Rubik Cube. Erno is a good name to know for crossword puzzle fans.

I know that I have the most intelligent readers in the world so here’s a little quicky-quiz. Didn’t you love these in high school? Yeah, me either. Anyway here are the rules. I’ll give you the fad and you tell me in which decade it occurred. Whip out a small piece of scratch paper and have some fun. Here are the answers: a) 1960 b) 1970 c) 1980 d) 1990 e) 2000 f)none-of-these <> I never felt a quiz was much of a quiz without a none-of-these response.

1. The Twist – Here’s and interesting fad. A vigorous dance guaranteed to knock off a few pounds made popular by an obese entertainer.

2. Streakers – Regrettably streakers tended to be mostly of the male persuasion, men very proud of their particular appendages or very proud at how fast they can sprint across a certain amount of space in a certain amount of time. Men who feel that any form of clothing would diminish the experience. Who comes up with this? Hell, someone even wrote a song “The Streaker” extolling this activity. Streaking was popular for only a couple years and soon faded, probably because people were being arrested for streaking.

3. Gee Your Hair Smells Terrific – What a product! GYHST was known for its spicy floral fragrance that lingered for hours after washing and drying. This shampoo came in a magenta colored bottle with bright, bubbly lettering on the label. The packaging was as much of an attention grabber as the product name and distinctive fragrance. GYHST suffered a lost of popularity after a rather tall woman filled a sexual harassment lawsuit against a very, very short male co-worker who greeted her daily with Gee Your Hair Smells Terrific. Go figure

4. Pet Rocks – Now here is a beauty. Over one holiday period (hey this is still a test you’re supposed to be figuring out the decade, remember) over a million people received Pet Rocks as gifts. It’s hard to imagine the awe and delight of each recipient. Pet Rocks were sold with tips on how to handle an excited rock and how to teach your rock tricks.

Apparently another big selling point was the didn’t eat, bark, meow and were very easy on furniture.

5. EST Therapy – Suppose you’re feeling a bit down, insecure. Things are not going well at the office or with the significant other. Friends don’t understand you. Then it’s time to make an appointment with an EST counselor. These people are trained (somewhere) to break you down. To abuse and degrade you until you fell absolutely worthless. And then build you back up. (How did this activity become so popular?) EST stands for Erhard Seminars Training founded by Warner Erhard, a former encyclopedia salesman.

6. Rocky Horror Picture Show – I got hooked on this fad and included it my novel “A Work of Art.” This was originally a British musical brilliantly cast and made into a film that was “only” to be screened at midnight. Actually, it became more of an event than a movie. The audience boos and hisses the villains and clap and cheer for the hero’s. Avid fans dress as their favorite characters. This is one fad I understood.

7. Popples – There was Pretty Cool, Party Popple, Pancake, Puzzle, Prize, Puffball, Pretty Bit, Potato Chip and Putter. These were followed by Rock Star Popples, Sports Popples, Popple pets etc. Perhaps the Popple people piled the presentation of Popples

playthings and pets too plentifully and people presently parted paths with the Popple products. Phew! Personnel personalize pending pensive peacock

The Popple people like proud parent peacocks presenting Popple products to the populace probably put too playthings and pets and people presently parted paths with the Popple products. Phew!

8. Trivial Pursuit – Want to appear almost as smart as fifth grader? I knew grown men and women who ran out to buy each version of Trivial Pursuit, memorized the cards then challenged their ‘friends’ to friendly games for $5 a pie. I can see why this became a big fad. Why it became an obsession? Go figure.

9. Napster – A great idea unless you were a musician, song writer or you had stock in a record company. Napster used to give away songs on the internet. All you had to do was download the software and get any mp3 music file you wanted. After a couple years, the artist and Record Industry realized this was stealing. The result was Napster being shut down. Of course now you can pay for the music.

10. Thongs – Not the “Thong Song,” by Sisqo. The thong is the most popular underwear for young women. Sure looks comfortable to me. You can get the “Thong Song,” on Napster.

1. a 2. b 3. b. 4. b 5. b. 6. b. 7. b/c 8. c 9. d 10. d <> none-of-these was none of these.

Which brings us to current fads.

When I was a kid I always looked forward to National Geographic Magazine. Insects, caves, jungles and astronomy fascinated me. But pictures of exotic peoples from far off lands and climes held me riveted to the page. Especially people with intricate patterns of tattoos or with bones or sea shells piercing through parts of their anatomy. Who first thought of that? Who was the first guy or gal who decided to use little sharp sticks dip them into a black dye and then start pricking a little pattern on someone’s arm or backside? Who was the first guy or gal who decided to take a bone or a stick, sharpen both ends and then slowly (and very painfully) drill it through that little wall of skin and cartilage that separates your nostrils?

Tattoos have been around for eons. In more modern times they were preferred by gang members, jailbirds, some military and those of a more notorious bent. Now tattoos are now so common that our local high school principal has a two inch mermaid on her left ankle. You used to get a tattoo to stand out, now you get have to get one just to be a part of the group.

Piercing is another fad with a long history. Which has definitely been taken to a new level in the modern area. The piercings of the natives of the deepest jungles on the planet have nothing on one young woman at our local Starbucks. Though now even she pales in comparison to a recent e-mail. Perhaps you’ve seen it too. And it takes tattooing and piercing and pain to the nth degree. The e-mail includes pictures of men and women with full body tattoos. Toes and fingers and between toes and fingers included.

YE OF FAINT HEART OR WEAK STOMACH NEED GO NO FURTHER

But art work aside, the part that made me reminisce about my old National Geographic days, in fact again had me riveted to the photograph were pictures of men and women hanging from industrial sized daisy-wheels. They hung on the end large barbed hooks.

The hooks went through eye-brows, stomach fat, legs and arms as these folks merrily swung aound in circles.

HOW FADS START

And here is the rub. Who thought of doing something like this in the first place? Could it have gone something like this?

A phone rings in an apartment in anywhere U.S.A. Shawn, suffering from a bit of a hangover, reaches across his bed and catches it on the second ring. “Yo, Shawn here.”

“It’s Carter. Beautiful day. What are you up to?”

“Not even up.” Shawn takes a look outside. The day is beautiful.

“Time to get up Bro.” Carter continued.

“Why?” Shawn stretched and scratched his scalp. He took a second look out the window. “Man it is somekinda day. You want to play some golf? Check out the beach?”

“No Bro. I got this idea. You want to do something real cool?”

Carter laughed. “Man, you don’t have any more room for tattoos. This is much better.

Shawn leaped out of bed. “Let’s do it, dude.”

I really hope this fad doesn’t catch on. Or if it does … hell, why wouldn’t?

I can hear the conversations now. “Dearest Mildred what did you do this weekend?”

“Oh Sydney, we just hung out.” Gives a new meeting to just hanging out.

FADS - PIERCINGS AND TATTOOS

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