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Who said what! Here’s the contest! The following are quotes from people. Some of them famous – Some infamous. Can you identify who said or where the following quotes originated? For the most part the quotes are from a person, leading character, popular film, novel or play.

"Filthy Stinking Rich... Well, Two Out of Three ain't Bad"

“Yes, I am drunk. But tomorrow I will be sober, and you will still be ugly.”

“I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.”

"Real Men Don't Waste Hormones Growing Hair"

"I Used Up All My Sick Days. . . So, I Called in Dead"

“Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island

what book would I bring: "How to Build a Boat.’”

"Husband and Cat Lost. Large reward for my Cat"

"Be Nice to Your Children, remember they will pick Your Nursing Home"

“Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society.”

"Why don’t Husbands Should Come with Instructions?"

“Why don’t children come with manual?”

"I Want It All and I Want It Delivered....Now!"

“I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to put sunscreen on my back.”

"Life Is Hard, with sharps ups and downs. And then you’re no longer here. Puzzling, isn’t it?

“ I Have One Wife Too Many. Monogamy is better.”

"Just Give Me Chocolate and Nobody Gets Hurt"

"My son, learn from Your Parents' Mistakes. . .Use Birth Control"

"60-Year-Old, One Owner, Needs Parts...Make Offer"

"I married for love, but the obvious side benefit of having someone around to find my glasses cannot be ignored."

"If God Had Wanted Me to Touch My Toes, He Would Have Put Them on My knees"

If You Can Read This. . .Kiss A Teacher"

"A Nest Isn't Empty Until All Their Stuff Is Out of the Attic"

"That's It! I'm Calling Grandma!"

"Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up"

"My Designated Driver Drove Me to Drink"

“Here’s all you have to know about men and women: Women are crazy, men are stupid.

And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.”

"If You Remember the '60s, You Weren't Really There"

"Procrastinate. Now!"

"Rehab, rehab? Rehab, is for Quitters"

"Re-Elect Nobody"

"We Married for Better or Worse ... I thought I couldn’t do better, and he thought he couldn’t do worse. That’s why I’m in prison.

"Never Underestimate the Power of Stupid People in Large Groups"

On a baby-size shirt "Party - My Crib - Two A.M."

"I'm Not 50. I'm $49.95 Plus Shipping & Handling"

"Before you marry a person you should first make them use a computer with

slow internet to see who they really are."

"You, Who Think You Know It All, Are Damn Annoying to Those of Us Who Do"

"I Am the Person Your Parents Warned You About"

The Two Most Common Elements in the Universe Are Hydrogen and Stupidity"

"Fifty Is the Ultimate F-Word"

"It IS As Bad As You Think, and They ARE Out to Get You"

"I'm on a 30-Day Diet. So Far, I've Lost 15 Days"

“I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to

annoy for the rest of your life.”

"Why Is 'Abbreviation' Such a Long Word?"

"There Are only THREE Kinds of People...Those Who Can Count and Those Who Can't"

"Familiarity Breeds. Please stop."

“I never forget a face—but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.”

"Proofread Carefully to See If You Any Words Out"

"A Freudian Slip Is When You Say One Thing but Mean Your Mother"

"Disregard Last T-Shirt"

"I Do Whatever the Voices Tell Me to Do"

"I'm Retired and This Is as Dressed Up as I'm Gonna Get"

“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”

I'm Not 50--I'm 18 with 32 Years Experience"

"Parents of Teenagers Know Why Animals Eat Their Young"

"It IS As Bad as You Think, and They ARE Out to Get You"

“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?”

“I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised

as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.”

“Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.”


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